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But wait, there's more.
There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?
Need a band name?
rant is where the heart is
entry for 2005-12-10 (13:07)
In which our plucky young hero sees the big picture.
I'm worried about voting NDP, because anonymous people in comment threads at political blogs (who are, as we all know, the most reliable source of information in the world) keep telling me about how Prime Minister Layton would "raise taxes to 100%" and "seize our children and put them in North Korean gulags".
That alone would be bad enough.
The truly chilling part is that there's no evidence of this ever happening. I mean, we've had Glen Clark in British Columbia. We've had Romanow and Calvert in Saskatchewan, Gary Doer in Alberta, and apparently even Ontario flew the orange flag and sang The Internationale for a term or two.
And yet, in none of these places can I find a 100% tax rate. Not one of these provinces runs a mandatory daycare program. Why, there's even what leading economists have called traces of the emergence of a market economy in Manitoba.
Some would say that this is because the NDP does not, in fact, intend to hike taxes to 100% and shoot capitalists in the street, and the fact of the matter is that some NDP cabinets are reasonably good at administering the affairs of government and others are run by Bob Rae.
But I know better.
I know that I cannot find these grim hellish dystopias solely because the NDP constantly rewrite history. They have an entire army of actors, writers, and fabulists who make sure there is no historical record of complete socialist takeover. (Winston Smith would fit right in.) In this, of course, they are aided by the liberal media, in particular the National Post, whose editors would never in a million years run any story that makes left-wingers look like anything less than the modern incarnation of Athenian philosopher-kings.
Sure, sure, there are some holes in my theory. One might ask, for example, how it is that so many people who grew up in Saskatchewan remember being raised at home and not in a cold Marxist prison. I'll admit that I don't know the whole picture there, but I suspect that memory-altering gases sprayed from crop dusting planes are involved.
After all, the only other alternative is that anonymous dipshits on the Internet are talking out their ass. And that's just crazy.(Browse: previous or next. Notes: post or read.)
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