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But wait, there's more.
There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?
Need a band name?
rant is where the heart is
entry for 2004-10-13 (01:00)
In which our plucky young hero does Fosse hands.
So, apparently the musicals aren't doing too well in Toronto right now. Hairspray is closing November 20, and the stuff that's replacing it might not be as big a draw. SARS, 9/11, tourism, blah blah blah.
In response today, someone wrote to the Star with this plaint: "I find it hard to understand why events will accept half empty houses at top dollar when they could be full at half the prices."
Yes, those fools. They could have had $500,000 a show, but instead they settle for a paltry half-million bucks. What morons.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm no fan of theatre at any cost - I saw Top Gun: The Musical for $20, but wouldn't see Hairspray for $40 (and yes, that sound you hear is the Merf Herder glaring at me so hard it's become audible). But if you can sell half the house at $40 a head during the dry spell right now, why pack the house at $20? Tell the world that a show is worth twenty bucks tops and they'll come to believe it... and then, when the line goes around the block again, you'll see that ghostly $20 flying away from every single one of them. (And the next time the theatre cycle goes downhill, suddenly people will ask why these expensive $20 shows when you could pack the house at $10 a head, and eventually we all just stay home and watch Train 48.)
Which is close to what I do anyway, considering I normally pay five bucks for my usual source of entertainment, but as we have discussed I am a cheap bastard.
So shine on, you crazy $40 diamonds. Or you crazy $200 diamonds, or whatever the hell. Sure, taking a family of four out to see a show and have a dinner is going to run you a few hundred bucks, but it's not like you do this every week. (I'd think you would get tired of the dancing dog-coprolith drag queen brigade after a while, or whatever the hell they put into musicals based on John Waters movies.) Suck it up, buddy. Either that, or go see Evil Dead: The Musical. The kids will like it better than Hairspray anyway.(Browse: previous or next. Notes: post or read.)
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