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But wait, there's more.

There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?

Join codebastards, I dare you. Remember, codebastards are us.

I'm baded and jitter. So are these people. (And why not follow the previous, next, or random links?)

Need a band name?

Doug vs. Japanese Snack Foods: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

rant is where the heart is

diaryland: entry for 2001-08-26 (14:14:00)
In which our plucky young hero offers the not laff laff.

And now, a bunch of punchlines that probably won't work, no matter what the joke is.

1. "He's the designated hittiest!"

2. "Of course he's polite -- he's French!" (Really only suitable as an ethnic joke.)

3. "No, the one who was defense secretary."

4. "Pay a generous salary and offer a 401(k) and comprehensive health insurance plan to her? I hardly know her!"

5. Anything that depends on the listener agreeing that "Gary Condit" actually does sound a lot like "lazy hobbit", now that they think about it.

6. "To get to New Haven, Connecticut."

7. "No, it's a roll of quarters. Would you have a twenty-dollar bill?"

8. "And then he says, 'Oh, anthrax! My mistake!'"

9. "I guess you could say he put the V in 'illiterate'."

10. "And Uncle Joey was dead even before he hit the ground."

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anything said in lowercase sounds profound. say it to me.

[fiendish tracking device]