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But wait, there's more.

There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?

Join codebastards, I dare you. Remember, codebastards are us.

I'm baded and jitter. So are these people. (And why not follow the previous, next, or random links?)

Need a band name?

Doug vs. Japanese Snack Foods: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

rant is where the heart is

diaryland: entry for 2001-06-30 (14:32:00)
In which our plucky young hero thinks Manitoba is Latin for "several tobs".

Remember what I said about goldbricking reporters last year?

True as ever. Yessir, you'll never go wrong calling Canadians ignorant and explaining how our lack of reverence for the dead past dooms us to an idiot future. And what do we do? We suck it up, we apologize for not knowing exactly which year it was that the Hudson Bay Company killed its first beaver, and most of all we never bother to ask if it's more important to know the dead past or the living present.

No, I'm not saying that you need know nothing about the past. But these evergreen stories don't teach us anything that affects how we live today; they don't ask questions about why women now have the vote and why, for decades, they didn't. They don't ask why our constitution is such a dog's breakfast of half-measures and regional disputes. Mere flashcard facts aren't history. Dates aren't history. Canada isn't "July 1, 1867" and "Marc Garneau" and "War Measures Act". Canada is the compromises of Confederation and the desire to reach out beyond humanity's cradle and the fear of a nationalism so intense that it kills.

But who needs to focus on any of that stuff when you can just say, "You idiots, you don't know 'peace, order, and good government'? I'm amazed the country hasn't been sold to the gypsies by now. Oh, and it was 1867, you idiots! How can you tie your shoes if you can't be bothered to memorize a four-digit number?"

I almost want to organize a society to poison water supplies every day from June 29th to July 2nd, just to make these lazy bastards in our nation's pressrooms work for a change on Canada Day weekend.

After all, direct, violent action like that is how Vancouver became a province. At least, that's what I think I learned in school.

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