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Doug vs. Japanese Snack Foods: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

rant is where the heart is

diaryland: entry for 2001-06-26 (12:30:00)
In which our plucky young hero wonders why people turn into censors.

Here's a riddle for you.

What's the difference between driving 10 miles below the speed limit because you know you'll be a little distracted during a 10-second phone call home to let your family know you'll be a little late, and driving the speed limit with your knees doing the steering while you try to balance a cup of hot coffee, a sloppy hamburger that's spilling lettuce all over your pants, and fiddling with the car radio to find a station that isn't playing goddamn Journey?

The difference is that the former is illegal in New York, and the latter... uh... isn't. Oh, you might get some sort of reckless driving cite, but according to the solons of the Empire State, eating with one hand and drinking with the other hand and tuning the radio with your third hand and driving with your knees just plain is not dangerous the way that holding a cell phone is.

You may wonder why I'm so annoyed. It's only a little inconvenience, right? It makes us a little safer, right? Well, fuck that. I don't want to give up my rights piecemeal to make things a "little" safer! If it's okay to get rid of cell phones because they might (possibly, maybe, eventually, conceivably) save one life, why don't we base our laws on the body count that racked up before they were passed? Banning Invictus would have saved 168 lives, so away it goes! And did you know that if it weren't for that bastard Salinger, John Lennon would still be alive today? (Interesting footnote: Catcher in the Rye actually was banned in the U.S. on first publication, but those commie "First Amendment" people got it overturned. And the blood of the best Beatle is on their hands for it!)

Oh, some might say that the responsibility for all that rests with the people who actually did those things, not with some sort of object or idea that you can point at as being some sort of proximate cause. But that's just crazy talk.

Because, as it appears the entire New York legislature knows, reckless drivers don't kill people. Cell phones do.

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