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But wait, there's more.

There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?

Join codebastards, I dare you. Remember, codebastards are us.

I'm baded and jitter. So are these people. (And why not follow the previous, next, or random links?)

Need a band name?

Doug vs. Japanese Snack Foods: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

rant is where the heart is

diaryland: entry for 2001-05-14 (12:28:00)
In which our plucky young hero relives the Rodent Invasion.

There's a reason I don't write a lot about the dreams I have. They tend to be very prosaic, except when they're very, very bizarre.

For example, you've never heard about the dream where I woke up in the morning, brushed my teeth, took a shower, got dressed, and had a bowl of cereal. (I felt quite ripped off when I awoke, as you can well imagine. My dream realm hoarding all the cereal on me? Subconscious bastard.)

Last night, though, fell into the latter category. The bizarre category, if you need reminding.

I was watching television, and came across a documentary about the reconceptualization of hokey concepts from the 70s and 80s. Since Josie and the Pussycats had proved it was possible to revise one really corny cartoon about a musical group from ye olden dayes, it was now time to take the lessons learned and apply them to...

...Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Everyone remembers Alvin, right? Oversized sweaters, idyllic home life, constant petty fraud and larceny perpetrated in the name of fame and fortune, Dave Seville as the doormat of the universe? Of course you remember.

But that was then, and this is now... now Alvin wears phat pants, and Simon has John Lennon glasses instead of the saucer-sized coke bottles, and Theodore is hooked on the Ritalin. Not because of ADD, mind you, just because Ritalin is fun.

Oh, and don't ask about what happened to Dave, but you'd be hard-pressed to not notice the way his ghost winces whenever an ice cream truck drives by. It always happens while he's giving helpful advice to the boys from beyond the grave. Some sort of running joke, I guess.

They then showed the pilot for the new Alvin and the Chipmunks show. It involved Wheel of Fortune. Alvin won a large sum of money, and promptly blew it on dog racing.

Yes, this is the stuff of my dreams. Trust me, folks, I couldn't make this stuff up. When I'm awake.

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