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But wait, there's more.

There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?

Join codebastards, I dare you. Remember, codebastards are us.

I'm baded and jitter. So are these people. (And why not follow the previous, next, or random links?)

Need a band name?

Doug vs. Japanese Snack Foods: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

rant is where the heart is

diaryland: entry for 2001-05-03 (00:50:00)
In which our plucky young hero didn't violate the "Office Use Only" rule.

I've just finished filling out my census, so when the Black Helicopter UN Secret Army Task Force comes to my house to take my guns and rape my housepets, they will be able to call me by name.

Very important, politeness, when you're enforcing a one world shadow government to usurp democracy in all the nations of the globe.

Seriously, though. Seriously. The census is not a laughing matter. It is undertaken by Statistics Canada, a national agency that wouldn't know what to do with a laugh without also tracking two standard deviations of it (which would involve, at last estimate, some sort of poultry item, or a copy of an Anais Nin book).

Without the census, we would never know if there were farmers in this country (answer: yes) or what languages other than English and French are the native tongues of our countrymen (answer: Serbo-Croatian yes, Esperanto no, that weird Jawa language from Star Wars maybe).

And as if that wasn't enough, there are job opportunities for enumeratin' fools across the country. I wonder if the Field Collection Unit has jokes about getting "all FCU'ed up". It probably does.

And just think, this only happens once every five years. It's rarer than leap years, rarer than Summer Olympics, rarer than steaks (unless you're a vegetarian).

Entertainment like this, and we only do it twice a decade? I say we should demand a recount, all 4,212 of us. And while we're at it, get more people to fill out their forms.

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[fiendish tracking device]