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But wait, there's more.
There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?
Need a band name?
rant is where the heart is
entry for 2001-04-27 (02:36:00)
In which our plucky young hero writes words, just like Shakespeare and Walter Winchell.
Okay, so my ISP provides television listings.
This is good.
There's a feature that will let you designate a program as a "favorite", and track its appearances during the week.
This is also good.
Unfortunately, the specificity of the favorite-show feature leaves a little to be desired when it comes to sports.
It is now time for me to reveal one of my biases, a prejudice I proudly wear on my sleeve and think should be shared by every thinking person: NASCAR sucks.
Now, I have no problem with stock cars in their proper context, which is 20-day road rallies in sub-Saharan Africa. I have no problem with things that came from the South, because after all the South gave us the taco and Buddy Holly, not to mention that one guy from that movie. But there is no way I will ever think that stock cars going around and around a giant donut will count as "entertainment".
Unfortunately, such subtleties are lost on my teevee listings site, which groups both NASCAR and real sports into "Auto Racing". Thus, my desire to see the next F1 race is thwarted by listings for the Branson-Missouri Cars Go Fast 200, or whatever the hell NASCAR events call themselves.
(Don't even get me started that NASCAR is a giant among dwarfs, and there are other stock-car-in-a-donut leagues out there, like the USAR, who actually have something called, and I swear this is not made up, the Hooters ProCup Series.)
I mean, can you imagine what sort of negative feedback there would be if any other genre of programming had such poor differentiation in this system?
Sure, you may think that West Wing and Total Request Live have nothing in common, but they're both an hour long!
Porky's and The English Patient. Are they not both movies?
Survivor and Soylent Green? Okay, that's in bad taste. But you know that in your head you've already written your own joke, so shame on you. (Hint: the phrase "it's made of Jerri" is in especially poor taste. And such small portions!)
In summary, F1 good. NASCAR bad. And always brush your teeth. Goodnight, folks, and remember, tip your waitress.(Browse: previous or next. Notes: post or read.)
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