rant is where the heart is

diaryland: sirilyan.diaryland.com: entry for 2005-01-31 (20:51)
In which our plucky young hero suspects there's an anime series about this.

There are those Canadian cultural conservatives who are arguing that legalizing gay marriage will inevitably lead to the legalization of polygamy.

But I say these Canadian right-wingers are being too slow, too timid, and too short-sighted.

Let it be known that I am the first person to ever point out that legalizing gay marriage in Canada will inevitably lead to the creation of genetically-engineered human-ostrich chimeras force-grown in glowing green vats for the express purpose of science-fictional cross-species rutting-pit sexual slavery.

Oh, sure, some people will say things like "but surely zoophiles will never successfully petition the courts to extend the definition of marriage to the point where you're allowed to marry an animal (or several, since we've already legalized polygamy)". But let's face it: the Supreme Court of Canada. Now who's being naive?

And once we've accepted that cross-species group marriage is just as much a part of society as polygamy, who's to say that these newly-married people (and goats) (or chipmunks) (or maybe rattlesnakes) (or all of the above, simultaneously) should be denied the right to have offspring? And if we need to genetically engineer human-animal crossbreeds so that these children may come to pass, are you seriously going to argue that anyone will be able to stop it? I remind you: the Supreme Court of Canada.

And, come on already. We're already marrying groups of people to groups of sheep (or trout) (or falcons). Can it really be that far a step from polygamous homosexual cross-species group marriage to someone finally coming up with the idea that it's not so bad to force an animal into (group) (polygamous) (homosexual) (genetically-engineered) marriage against its will? There is a word for people who think that this is not exactly what will happen and that word is the Supreme Court of Canada naive.

So write your MPs today. Write them and demand that they shut down the human-ostrich chimera-sex brothels of tomorrow, today. And if shoving the goddamn faggots back in the closet where they belong is the only way to do that, well, sucks to be them, right?

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