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But wait, there's more.
There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?
Need a band name?
rant is where the heart is
entry for 2003-03-17 (10:03)
In which our plucky young hero offers a snique pique at his ad career.
Sometimes, I want to become a volunteer for PETA's advertising team, just so I can launch a massive multimedia campaign across Canada and the United States to improve the world.
Billboards, radio and television ads, pop-up ads on newspaper web sites, "unauthorized" graffiti tags in major urban centers, and forehead tattoos will all communicate one clear, unequivocal message:
PETA Says: Don't Cut Off Your Leg At The Knee!
It's an irresistable message: those animal-rights wackos think it's wrong to chop off your own leg. They think you shouldn't do it. They would be really annoyed if you did.
Within a week, tops, we'll be living in a happier, less troubled world. Because we'll know that whenever someone with only one leg comes limping up to us, we can safely ignore everything they say.
(And the best part is that when they try to chase desperately after us, plaintively whining about "political correctness" and "preachy vegetarians" and "food police", they'll be really easy to outrun.)(Browse: previous or next. Notes: post or read.)
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