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Doug vs. Japanese Snack Foods: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

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diaryland: sirilyan.diaryland.com: entry for 2001-01-19 (11:44:57)
In which our plucky young hero oozes, but not in a good way.

I feel like there's not enough blood in me.

Much of my mother's medical advice was priceless, and I mean that literally: it was worth every penny I paid for it. (Nothing I ever hear about my health will outdo her exasperated shut up, it's just a stomach flu the day before my appendectomy.)

One of the things she loved to tell me was that mustard would dry up my blood. Eat too much of it and there'd be nothing but dessicated mess in my veins. Of course, I suspect that a lot of her dietary advice was predicated on the entirely coincidental side effect of her being less irritated if I followed it. "Chewing on ice cubes rots your tooth enamel", anyone? I haven't figured out how the eating-mustard thing fits in, but there's a way, there's a way.

Well, I've cut out the mustard, but my bloodstream still feels like it's dried up. I feel like I wouldn't bleed if my skin got cut so much as I'd ooze. I can feel my heart working but I don't feel my arteries working.

My body feels like a sluggish, dried-out rock.

Now feel free to give me unsolicited medical advice. And if it's based on poor judgement and folk myth, so much the better. Trust me, I'm used to it.

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