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But wait, there's more.
There's just no polite way to say "Buy me things", is there?
Need a band name?
rant is where the heart is
entry for 2000-08-05 (11:47:33)
In which our plucky young hero calls it "Slev".
What I should have said last night, except I still haven't completely broken away from having respect for people who happen to be in the same physical location as me, not that that prevents me from being That Bastard With The Cell Phone (yes, yes, that was me):
"Excuse me. Hi. You do realize it's midnight at the 7-Eleven, right? Because I noticed that you just spent five minutes deciding exactly which lottery ticket to buy, which followed your five minutes of comparison shopping film and one-use cameras, and your five minutes of deciding exactly which brand of cigarettes to buy, and on behalf of everyone else in line which by now is about ten people could you please outfit yourself for your fucking trip up the Amazon at some other store which is not the 7-Eleven where you've been backing up the goddamn line I am in for at least fifteen minutes? Thanks. And by the way, you're ugly."
I have a remarkably fascistic view of convenience store etiquette, and I always feel bad if I break it. If my debit card isn't already in my hand and I don't already have my finger hovering over the first digit of my PIN, I want to turn around and apologize to everyone behind me. Part of that etiquette is that I always tend to buy small things - some Ben & Jerry's, a bottle of pop, that sort of thing. If you need to buy more than you can carry in one of those insanely small Slev bags, you do it at a supermarket, okay? Thanks.
Speaking of pop, I actually bought Virgin Cream Soda last night. Yes, that's Virgin as in Virgin Airlines and Virgin Records. That is a brand that will go anywhere you want to buy it. I think it may be possible by now to do everything with a Virgin brand name. Kind of like the people who only buy Ikea furniture. But your whole life. Your whole life is Virgin.
Well, hopefully not your whole life. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
Ask nice later and I'll tell you about the Fringe.(Browse: previous or next. Notes: post or read.)
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